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Well, it's that time again... - Park Guests SUCK
Well, it's that time again...
Time for the annual Halloween event of a certain amusement park that is no longer owned by Anheuser-Busch!

Sweet monkey Jesus on a pogo stick, it was only the first night yesterday and we got shit nobody was expecting until October.

Dear Guests:
  • Once again, the sexy costumes do not mean that Little Dead Riding Hood and Gretl want you. They are paid to wear these. Back. The hell. Off.
  • Yeah, y'all know that repetitive recording about not touching the employees? Don't do it. And especially do not act like a gorram five-year-old and repeatedly smack an employee on the hand for no reason whatsoever.
  • Don't try to freak dance with the dancing girls in the ballroom. It's not funny. It's annoying.
  • Don't pull on the Hairless Girl's wig! Holy crap, were you raised in a barn?
  • Don't. Touch. My. Hair. I will murder you if you do it again.
  • And you, the bastard who grabbed Gretl between the legs? When we catch you, we're going to hand you over to Big Dan. And then we'll hand you over to the cops, since Gretl is a minor. RUN.
In slightly more light-hearted news, I think I've figured out where people screaming at employees and trying to scare them comes from: It's a learned behaviour. Witness this conversation:

Mom: "Now, do you remember what you do when you see a scary person?"
Child: "Scream at them!"
Me: *thinking: WTF!?*

I think it may be time for a reposting of the Ten Commandments of Haunted Houses.

xposted to customers_suck  and my personal journal.

Current Location: my bed
Current Mood: enraged enraged

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