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Last night! - Park Guests SUCK
dark_puck
parkguests_suck
dark_puck
Last night!

Dear Guests,
  • Please keep your gorram hands out of my face. It's not funny when you do it, it will never be funny when you do it, and it reeks of infantilism. "I'm not touching you! I'm not touching you!" Y'all are in your thirties. For shame.
  • STOP IT WITH THE GORRAM BEER IN THE MAZE I SWEAR TO GOD.
  • Yeah, calling the hair in the hair room pubes? It was old last year. You're not original and you're not funny.
  • For the last time, you can't scare us. Now stop trying.
  • Yeah, calling me a frigid bitch because I told you to get off the couch next to me? That was me saving you a booting, because you and I both know that Step Two was putting your arm around my shoulders, and touching a maze employee is grounds for dismissal from the park without refund. Sometimes for several years.
  • I do not look like Sarah Palin, and neither does he! TAKE IT BACK. NOW.
  • You. Yeah, you. The jerk who scared the living daylights out of your friend? I hope security scared you just as bad. You scared your friend right into the wooden screen that I hide behind. Your friend is not a very light person, and I could have been seriously injured* if I hadn't darted to the right as soon as that screen started moving. As it was, you're responsible for the panic attack** that sent me out of the maze for several minutes.
  • Oh, and to the probable employee who sexually assaulted B tonight? You who knew our every procedure for catching bastards such as you and managed to avoid them all, thus getting away with it? Congratulations, asshole. You are the main reason several girls have decided they're not returning next year. I hope you're happy, dickless.
No love,
the Swing Shift Chick from Grimm's.

*Not trying to start wank, but I'm a pretty small girl, and simple physics were working against me.
** I have issues with being trapped stemming back from junior high.

Current Location: my bed
Current Mood: angry angry

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