Log in

entries friends calendar profile Previous Previous Next Next
Dear "Guests", When coming through the haunted mazes,… - Park Guests SUCK

Dear "Guests",

When coming through the haunted mazes, here are some things you should not do.

I can't believe we have to go over this yet again.

  • Take flash photos in the maze. And if the employee puts his/her hand up to block the shot, don't take the picture at all. For the love of Christ.
  • Bring in your flashing lightsabres, cutie moon rods, bunny ears, devil horns, jewellry, etc., while they're still lit. It fucks up everybody's night vision.
  • Lie in wait to scare your friends. THAT IS OUR JOB. NOT YOURS.
  • Try to scare us. Seriously, it doesn't work. It takes severe effort for us to scare each other, so y'all haven't a hope in the fucking world.
  • Try to scare us by TOUCHING US. All it does is piss us off and get you booted from the park if you're caught.
  • Bring food into the maze. Sooner or later, someone with a late break is going to snap and steal whatever it is you have.
  • Bring beer cups into the maze. I don't know how the hell y'all are sneaking freaking CUPS past Park Ops, but seriously. STOP THAT. I don't want beer thrown on me.

To the guy in the Hokies hoodie who hit me in the shoulder this evening:

Your apology is NOT accepted. You did it deliberately in an attempt to scare me. Guess what? It worked. But not in the way you wanted. You see, I have minor issues stemming from junior high that make me freak out when I am either trapped or hit from behind/my blind spot. But, for once Park Ops was on the ball, and they caught you.

I might have been inclined to be more forgiving, but when I reminded you about the messages and the big freaking sign out front that says not to touch, you said, "I know."


Congratulations, twatmuffin. You got you and your friends all kicked out of the park. After three sexual assaults this year, Security is taking everything seriously. For once.

x-posted to dark_puck and customers_suck

Current Location: my bed
Current Mood: annoyed annoyed

Leave a comment