I hate the on season. Passionately. I dread the passing of the rains because it means the crazies come to the Zoo to display their poor parenting.
-Why yes, those are in fact sharks. Big black ones, in fact. Now, let me answer your question with this question: WHY ARE YOU DANGLING YOUR CHILD OVER THE RAILING? They are sharks. This is pretty evident. Nothing in that tank looks remotely friendly. WHYWHYWHY?
Same goes for the idiots that do this over the Belugas. Oh, the beluga would carry little Timmy to safety if he fell? *headwall*. Wild animals, crazy lady. WILD ANIMALS. I hope you get hypothermia.
- As I ramble about the pretty tropical fish, STFU! It's a small area with a lot of people I must project towards. If you have a question, that's fine, but do not interrupt me to ask me if the big endangered one is "good eatin'". I will get mad at you. Yeah, bad_service and all that, but it's rude and mean. I care for these amazing animals all day, comments like that are not acceptable. Next time, I swear I will ask if their child is "good eatin'".
- Yes, those are our volunteer divers in the tank with our sharks. They are rescue-diver certified and extensively trained. No, you may not go in. But you've been snorkelling in the Bahamas? Oh, well, that totally makes it okay. What are people honestly expecting me to say when they suggest crap like this?
-I'm sorry you don't like all the construction near the front, but Animal Avenue is nearing completion and you should come back on memorial day weekend to see it! What's that? You want to see the animals NOW? Uh, they're in our Hospital for quarantine. That's okay, you say? You're clean? I won't elaborate on this further, the vein in my forehead is telling me to quit while ahead. You can fill in the ensuing argument.
I love my job, but I'm so glad I'm working elsewhere for the summer (Hawaii here I come!). I just can't take the crazy in doses this great.
Oh, awesome audience man, you made my whole life this week. As I fed the tropical fish (exhibit to my back as I shpeeled), you burst out singing "That's Amore". I thought you were crazy, but I turned around and saw our leopard moray emerging for some tasty mackerel. I never hear seriously funny stuff at work, that was very clever and funny. I applaud you and award you a handful of tasty krill.